


Poke and Prod

by hapgen



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Basically Connor is a snoopy detective rip, Gen, In which Connor wants to know more about Hank, M/M, and Hank just wants to drink his beer and watch wipeout like a normal 53 year old man, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 00:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15327525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hapgen/pseuds/hapgen
Summary: Connor turned up his audio sensors and was able to pick up Hank mumbling, “Holy shit,” to himself. That was a neutral response to his question. Considering the inflection in Hank’s voice during that statement, Hank was 44% likely to find this situation humorous and 49% confusing. The leftover 7% was suspicion, but that was highly unlikely due to the innocent air Connor attempted to emit when he originally asked the question.





	Poke and Prod

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap! I hope you guys like this because I hate it for some odd reason? But it's also hilarious, so, yeah. Here it is!
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> Also, note: I did not put this fic on the Hank/Connor ship tag because it's not really shippy. I tried to write it in a way that seemed both platonic and (hinted) romantic, since I want this to be a fic that everyone can read! I know some people are uncomfortable with HankCon (which sucks, because I like it, but I respect you all! You guys have your reasons!) and others are in love with it, and I wanted to cater to everyone.
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> If this seems too shippy, please let me know in the comments! I will change the tags asap!
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> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my first work in the D:BH fandom!

Connor stared at the television, trying his best to comprehend what was happening. As far as he could tell, he was watching an old show from the 2000s about people trying to conquer an obstacle course. Whenever people would bounce off the bright red balls and splash into the water, Hank would chuckle for a minute or so. How Hank could find amusement in this kind of entertainment was... interesting. Connor found that it made Hank out to be a lover of the darker kind of humor, since he also “joked” about death and depression. Also, Connor couldn’t help but notice that Hank laughed at simpler things. Last week at the department, Hank pointed at a spilled cup of coffee and said: “Me.”

Connor still doesn’t really understand that. Detective Reed and a few others laughed in response, one of them even saying, “Same.” What did that even mean? Did they somehow relate to Hank’s confusing joke? It wasn’t even that funny!

Regardless, Connor still did his best to understand Hank. In fact, the folder in his system that was titled “Lieutenant Hank Anderson” was becoming much fuller than he expected. It had his entire background (what Connor knew, of course, some of it was still murky), habits, hobbies, and even his favorite food (the supreme deluxe chicken cheese burger, AKA “the usual,” from the Chicken Feed). Connor thought that it was best for him to know these things since he was, as confirmed by Hank himself, his “closest friend.”

Yet, there was one thing that would not stop bothering Connor. Something that Hank never bothered to mention, nor would bring up if the situation called for it. Even though it was generally seemed to be an invasive question to ask, Connor couldn’t help but wonder: what was Hank’s sexuality?

Not that Connor really, desperately needed to know. But as Hank’s work partner and “closest friend,” Connor felt that it was important for him to know these things about Hank. Yes, he knew Hank’s favorite color (orange), his favorite kind of drink (Black Lamb Scotch Whiskey, on the rocks)- but what was his sexual and romantic preference? Considering that Hank had a son, he must have had a wife or a female partner. However, adoption was still something to consider, so Hank could have had a male partner. Furthermore, he could have even adopted Cole as a single parent- or have had the partner of another gender. 

Connor did consider checking Hank’s records, but felt that it would be too invasive- going behind Hank’s back to, what, quench his curiosity? No, Connor couldn’t do that. He promised Hank he would not do, and he quotes, “that freaky shit,” anymore. Instead of that, perhaps he could manipulate a conversation to work in his favor. How so? Well, Connor would open up to Hank first. Maybe that would drive Hank towards revealing what his preference was.

Connor definitely didn’t need to, but he cleared his throat to get Hank’s attention. He watched as Hank turned to look at Connor with an expression that seemed to be of “interest.” Perfect timing!

“I like men.”

Hank choked on his beer and spit some of it out, his blue eyes the size of dinner plates. He looked at Connor with what looked like “befuddlement.” 

“Connor, what the fuck? What does that have to do with anything?” Hank rasped, coughing a few more times to get the beer out of his lungs. “We’re watching Wipeout, not some TLC show.”

Connor wanted to respond to Hank’s reaction by smiling, but he held himself back. That would probably further confuse the lieutenant. “I am coming out to you. I like men.” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone, as if he was simply talking about the weather.

Hank stared at him in disbelief. Connor turned up his audio sensors and was able to pick up Hank mumbling, “Holy shit,” to himself. That was a neutral response to his question. Considering the inflection in Hank’s voice during that statement, Hank was 44% likely to find this situation humorous and 49% confusing. The leftover 7% was suspicion, but that was highly unlikely due to the innocent air Connor attempted to emit when he originally asked the question.

“Connor, thanks for trusting me with that, uh...” Hank searched for the right words, his eyes darting around the room, “...information, but you know that people don’t really do that anymore, right? Coming out is an old thing. Nowadays people just show up at the house with their partner or whatever and their families accept it.”

Connor tilted his head. The wikihow article he read on this subject was very clear. He had followed the step-by-step instructions exactly. Quickly, he checked the publishing date- oh. 2012. That made much more sense.

“My apologies, Hank. The wikihow article I read is outdated. Let me look up another, more recent article and try that again-” Connor began, his LED turning yellow as he began to search for more relevant articles regarding his topic.

Hank shook his head in disbelief, “Wikihow... God, Connor, don’t sweat it. Why would you even bring that up, anyway? So what if you’re, uh... attracted to men? I don’t care.”

Connor’s LED flashed yellow as he stopped his research. He looked at Hank with an expression that hopefully conveyed his confusion. “I thought that, since we are “close friends,” that you would want to know more about me. I trust you, so I am willing to tell you who I like.” He said, finishing his statement off with a bright smile. Yes, his plan was working perfectly.

Hank blinked, then slowly turned back to the television. “Well... alrighty then. Thanks for trusting me, Con.” He said with a small, slightly unsure smile, before focusing on the show once again.

Connor was frustrated. While he appreciated Hank’s nonchalant attitude about his sexuality, Connor was hoping that his reveal would spark something inside the lieutenant. It seemed to have done the opposite: Hank was done with the conversation. Well, perhaps it was time for Connor to “grow a pair,” as Hank would say, and be as straightforward as humanly possible.

“Do you like men, Hank?”

“Connor, holy shit-!” Hank was coughing again, leaning forward in his seat and gasping for air. He set his beer down on the coffee table with a bang, then set his steely blue eyes right at Connor. “Okay, why the **fuck** would you ask me that?” He asked, looking slightly peeved.

Well. That didn’t go as planned. Connor knew that his LED was spinning, the yellow lights were reflecting off the television. “I... I was curious. I did not want to check your records, since that would be invading your privacy, and I did not want to assume anything-”

Hank sighed, “Connor, listen. Instead of asking me things like that at, what?” He glanced over at the clock on his bookshelf, “11 p.m., why don’t you not ask me at all? Why would even need to know that about me?”

Connor looked down at his hands. They were twitching. “I was curious.” 

“For fuck’s sake- I know that’s not the reason. I’m not stupid.” Hank said, looking just as frustrated as Connor felt.

“I never said you were.” Connor muttered, his eyes meeting Hank’s.

Both of them were silent for a moment, realizing that they were blowing this way out of proportion. Hank heaved out a sigh, before scooting towards Connor. He threw his arm across Connor’s shoulders and pulled him into an (admittedly awkward) side-hug.

“Look, Con, I’m sorry if I’m sounding, um, rude, or anything, but I’m really confused. You’re not answering my question.” Hank watched as Connor shrugged in response. He seemed to be just as tired as Hank felt. How human of him.

Connor leaned into the hug, even though his body refused to properly relax- he probably felt like a stiff board against Hank’s side. “I’m sorry. I want to know more about you. From what I understand about humanity and relationships, “close friends” usually know a lot about each other.” He looked up at Hank, “And while we both know a lot about each other, I feel like there is a lot I still don’t know.”

Hank knew that he would be sighing a lot during this conversation. “Do you really need- no, want to know what I like? Is it that important to you?” He asked wearily. This android was going to be the death of him.

Connor attitude noticeably brightened, his LED turning a bright blue and his features relaxing. He looked up at Hank eagerly. “Yes, I would like to know. Please!” Learning more about Hank was his current primary goal, after all.

Hank took a deep breath, “Well, back in the day, when I was your age- um, how old are you supposed to be?” He stopped, asking Connor a question to buy himself some time to actually think about his shit-storm he called his past.

Connor caught on to Hank’s little scheme easily, but knew that it would help Hank answer the million-dollar question: “I was designed to look like an average Caucasian male in his early thirties. Please, continue.”

Hank nodded, “So, yeah, when I was in my thirties, the whole sexuality thing started to become really big. People were coming out left and right as gay, pan, ace, etcetera.” He shrugged, “And I, being the fucking idiot I am, decided to go ahead and find out what I liked. By that time I was working in the force, and I was on my way to becoming pretty fucking good, if I do say so myself.” 

Connor nodded, urging Hank to continue. He wasn’t expecting Hank to tell him his entire life story, but he wasn’t going to stop him now. Hank shifted his weight around, settling into the couch a bit better. Connor was still as stiff as ever, even though he attempted to curl into Hank’s side more comfortably. It was the effort that counted, he supposed.

“I went to a few bars, chatted some people up. Seemed like I was more into women than anything else. Until one day... I got a little too wiped out, you know?” Hank waved a hand in the air. He didn’t expect Connor to really know, and wasn’t surprised to see Connor’s unsure expression.

Hank actually felt embarrassed, “First time I got that drunk. Uh, anyway, this guy and I started talking, one thing led to another. You know?”

“Please stop saying that. I don’t know.” Connor muttered. He would have to try alcohol sometime. Maybe there was an update of sorts he could get to consume liquids and feel their effects? 

“Humor me, Connor, damn.” Hank rolled his eyes, “I decided that I liked guys and gals. Both are hot, pretty, handsome, whatever. But at the same time, I kinda don’t even care about what they are- I’ll like who I want to like.” 

Connor nodded slowly. That made a lot of sense. Hank does have an “I don’t give a shit” kind of attitude. Connor should have been able to deduce this all on his own. He could have avoided making this entire situation uncomfortable if he had made an educated guess. Taking a quick glance through Hank’s mannerisms would have given him a similar answer.

“Connor, you just said all of that out loud. Are you shitting me?” Hank said, looking at Connor with poorly disguised amusement. 

Yellow light was filling the room as Connor blinked in surprise. “I... I was? That’s... not good. Hm.” He muttered.

Hank raised an eyebrow. “Your programming being weird?”

“I suppose so. I’ll run a diagnostic and make sure to go on standby.” Shifting in his seat, Connor prepared to stand up and go into “sleep mode,” but was stopped by a hand on his arm. Hank didn’t meet Connor’s eyes as he pulled him back onto the couch.

“Don’t worry about getting up.” Hank said, looking at the credits on the television. The lights considerably lightened up Hank’s rugged features, which were finally visible due to his beard finally being trimmed and his hair pulled back into a small bun. Connor let himself save this moment into his databases, along with all the new information he learned about his “close friend,” Hank.

As Connor went into standby, Hank let himself take a peek at Connor. His face was relaxed, and- to Hank’s shock- Connor’s body was pliant. Whenever Connor went into standby he would sit at the kitchen table instead of standing in the front room, since Hank deemed it “creepy” for him to just stand there all night. The first time Connor stayed over was terrifying for both parties, mostly because Hank just wanted some water and ended up almost shooting Connor in fright. Neither of them were amused about the situation.

However, Hank found himself smiling when he recalled that memory. Connor was weird, quirky... whatever. The conversation they had earlier was proof of that fact. But, Hank knew that he was just trying to fit in. Connor really did try. It was oddly endearing- especially when he would try to crack a joke that he thought Hank would love.

Hank sighed. Yeah, Connor was a fucking handful, but he was sincere. Whatever happened earlier came from the heart, or mind... or whatever androids had. The execution was terrible, but he tried. 

“I like men...” Hank snorted, letting himself get comfortable with the brick wall by his side.


End file.
